It's been some time since we've heard what Mr. Buell was doing. Sure, we've heard stories, accusations, etc., formal and otherwise, that led us to think he's in a bad way.
But a while ago, deciding the horse's mouth might be the best, maybe the only fair place to turn, we went to his Facebook page to see his latest video post. It's worse than we imagined...
It's devastating to see anyone in this shape. His mother's own Facebook plea was what caused us to take note and, after seeing what he intentionally posted, it's clear to us that he's very sick, indeed.
Because addiction is one of those things that garners less empathy than other diseases - after all, the sufferer does have some control, is the standard, understandable response - even my own personal comprehension of addiction is tempered by what I saw in these few minutes of him talking - without making any sense at all.
I'm looking at a dying man.
Inside and outside.
As in not long for this earth.
And now, because he's jailed in a state removed from the actual "scene of the crime" - he allegedly stole a rental car - I've got a feeling this guy is kicking something fierce in a cell far from home.
Prayers may not be enough. Because the stubborn and relentless march for that very thing that's killing us is hard to kill, it'll take something bigger and meaner and smarter than Ryan to untangle this mess.
Whatever you thought of the show Paranormal State, this much is true: Ryan Buell is a very intelligent, compelling, unique personality and, like everyone else alive, has a spark of good within. Whatever drugs he's on are all but obliterating those traits and leaving a skeletal, babbling guy who's slow dancing with the devil himself.
That term, by the way, is usually a clichéd metaphor given to those risking much for little. But - limb crawling-out time - because our etheric bodies have unique compositions, it's surprisingly easy to rip one open and have low things gain access.
The lower astral is teeming with hitchhikers who like nothing better than to cop a free ride. One can live a life making such access impossible or one can leave all the doors unlocked with a welcome mat out... Which is exactly what quantum drug use does.
We think good angels are more numerous, bigger, stronger than the fallen ones who don't fight fair. While we certainly didn't mean to go all meta-chat in this post, we'll chance that many of you know exactly what we mean.
Opiate addiction is claiming more lives by the minute: the stats are up there with cancer and auto accidents. Because it's entirely possible to appear functional on these drugs - until it's not - it's a gnarly way to go.
Not because Ryan is more special than anyone else, but because, perhaps, he's visible, maybe he needs some extra angels. The good kinds.
Sending his Mama thanks for her courage in speaking out. And huge hugs across the miles. We cannot imagine her agony, especially seeing so many enablers in his wake. They've clearly kept him two steps ahead of being called out on his crap for some time. Until now. So what seems like rotten luck for Ryan may be the one damn thing that'll save him.
About his mother's post: Anyone who calls what she did a betrayal is either part of the problem or too naïve to be included in the solution. And there is one, Ryan...
It won't be fun - at first. But you can do this. Your choices are dwindling if not out of your hands altogether at this point.
I wish I could help. And while it has become a punchline, honey, I'm saying this in all seriousness:
I feel your pain.
Because haters are like moths made of - well, hate - in a way, it's beckoning them to write this at all. With that in mind, kindly note: We've sharpened delete/ban scissors here, and all snark will be summarily removed.
RB will answer for his deeds, misdeeds, etc in the way we all do. It just might not be on the earthly plane. And this is being posted in hopes that it's not too late for this life to be enough for him.
The difference between tough love and merciless jerks who traffic in sheer gossip is a large one, indeed. Please think before you write.