Thursday, June 9, 2016

The Website That'll Straighten Everything Out.

Disclaimer: The following is not a verbatim account, but the best we could do under extenuating circumstances. Admitting to this kind of multi-tasking is actually embarrassing. We were attempting to eavesdrop - politely - and scribble down what was being said, all while simultaneously we pushed pizza and salad into our face.

Then, on top of all that, it was occasionally difficult not to stop iced tea from shooting out of our nose. That was not from laughing at the people we were listening to, but from noticing the brazenly disapproving stares of other diners trying to unsuccessfully shame them into silence. THAT part was hysterical.

On that note, we realized we'd be one crappy spy: We really liked the people we were 'spying' on. Then again, the word "spy" might be stretching it. They were saying things that did and didn't make sense and we just wanted to write it down.

In a way, we wish we'd videoed the whole thing so you could see what we're trying to say...

They were a little bit loud, accepted themselves a little too much and hadn't a clue anyone else was in the room, except for the waitress who they thanked profusely whenever she came by.

And this happened. In their party was a boy of about fourteen who had some behavioral difficulties that probably made regular dining-out a rarity. He would suddenly be overcome by brief but impressive emotional displays which were obviously hard to control. He seemed afraid of different things in spurts, then he'd calm down and enjoy his food, even laughing at his Grandpa who patiently attended him.

The conversation began with the boy's mother telling the others that the "truth" about Trump University was on a website (link below) and that she wanted to share it on FB as soon as she got home.

Her oldest daughter showed her the site on her tablet and this ensued:

"Well, for gosh sake! Why didn't you just SAY so!? All this Trump University lawsuit stuff turns out to be a big scam. I tell ya..

"Somethin' told me these kids were up to no good as soon as I heard about it. Ya know, when folks hear somebody's got somethin', they'll just try and get somethin' for NOTHIN'... And if their scam don't work out, then right to the phony lawsuits they go!"

If she'd said two more things, we might have just believed her.

Actually, she reminded us a bit of Sarah Palin except without getting red-faced and rhyming insanely. And, unlike Palin, this gal was quite chubby and her husband couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her. We thought that part was extra freaking awesome - especially since we were in a part of town where being overweight is nearly an arrestable offense. And we didn't see a single skinny chick in the room whose husbands were even acknowledging them.

The more we think about this, the less it's about Mr. Trump at all. Except for the fact that we didn't know he'd set up a website to refute claims about the infamous legal action being taken against him. (The guy IS brilliant. There are still an awful lot of people who think if something is online, then it's true.)

In short? An unexpectedly adorable day in America where everybody was just trying to do the best they can with what they've got.

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