Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Truth or Dare: High Stakes Version

Eager to compete with the surge of patently insane, demagogic Dixie governors willing to trample coherent thought as well as human rights, Mississippi's resident ass clown Phil Bryant has not only taken the cake, he's baked several more, left them in the rain and everything else you can do with a damn cake by insisting that Christians will gladly endure crucifixion to fight LGBT rights.

You heard us right.

Call us kooky, but we imagine a comprehensive poll taken among other Christians would not bear out his prediction.

Actually, we're fairly sure that the only other people extant who are actively engaged in this ancient barbaric act are the minions over at ISIL. At the very least, the governor seems to have his stories mixed up. At worst, he's moved the discussion into the realm of unforgivable hyperbole.

Emperors of old Rome used to put on some pretty gruesome shows at the Colosseum, but they never offered themselves up as fodder for the violence. Hey. Perhaps we misjudged this guy: In a world where very few put their money where their mouth is, Bryant has stepped up to the plate. Or the cross. We can't be sure which..

Although we vehemently disagree with his views, and as tempting as it is to call his bet - we're hoping one of his own will quietly pull him aside and say, in the most respectful of tones, "Guv-nah, have you lost whatever pencil eraser sized cranium you had completely?"

To the mainstream press who featured this story: Thank you. We realize there are so many nutty sound bites hitting the airwaves it must be hard to keep track of it all. Granted, some threats are so over the top that they may seem more like comedic asides than legitimate news stories. But because some of the craziest of all are coming from one of two people who stand to become the next President of the United States, something tells us we better get used to it.

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